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Posted on 08-16-2016


As we all know, Kitty Sparks and Sambo are rather good friends, constantly causing mayhem in the cat room here at ABPH. I, Jacob, have been tasked with chronicling their adventures for all to enjoy. This is the first installment. 

It was an early morning here at ABPH, and most of the staff was away at the Humane Society for a spay neuter clinic. With only two employees on hand, Kitty Sparks and Sambo saw the perfect opportunity to escape and terrorize the whole clinic instead of just the cat room.

With the skill of a Gabby Douglas, Kitty Sparks shimmied up the screen door and pulled the handle, swinging the door open. From her high perch on the cat tree, Ariel, the other resident of the cat room warned them, "I wouldn't do that, there could be scary dogs out there, or vacuums!"

Kitty Sparks just hopped down from the door, replying "Nonsense, nothing Sambo and I can't handle. Come on Sambo! Wait, no, over this way", as Sambo wobbled over to the doorway. Guiding him out the door, the two rambunctious kitties, defying their disabilities, determined to set out on an adventure. 

As soon as they left the room, Olive, the little Chihuahua mix in the reception office, came running up to the gate. Kitty Sparks, quickly stated, "Don't say anything, we don't want to get busted!"

Olive indignantly stated in her high pitched voice, "You're not supposed to be out, I'm going to tell Kim right now!" 

Kitty Sparks quickly pushed Sambo down the hallway as Olive yapped to Kim. However, the kitties quickly made their escape. Turning down the pharmacy hallway, they walked for one of the exam rooms. Upon entrance, they saw the awesome cabinets underneath the benches. Sambo, already thinking about sleep, said, "I bet it's dark an comfortable in those cabinets. We could sleep and no one would ever fine us!" 

Kitty Sparks trotted to the handle, and using her paw, swung the door open and they hopped in. She made herself comfortable on top of a bag of cotton balls, while Sambo began to check out a strange Ziplock bag. It appeared to contain multiple shredded leaves and smelled really good. Kitty Sparks came down to assist Sambo in the investigation.

"It kinda smells like that stuff they give us every now and then, I thought Ariel had three heads last time they gave it to us, and I ate a massive bowl of catfood!", declared Sambo.

"Yeah, I don't think I stopped running and climbing for half the day!", agreed Kitty Sparks.

"Wanna try some?", came a soft and super chill voice from behind them. They turned and saw it was Buddha, the clinic greeter cat, a white Scottish Fold that knew everything about the place.

"That's my best right there, had Jeri bag that up yesterday. The yield alone is amazing, I'm not putting out those little baggies anymore, these 2-gallon bag bales are where the market is going."

Sambo and Kitty Sparks stared in wonderment. Buddha, absorbing the adoration, sauntered over the the top of the bag, and opened it up. Instantly, an intoxicating aroma filled the room. Buddha munched on a few leaves, and then flipped a few over to the two youngsters, "here kids, dig in, but hold on tight!"

Sambo, true to his nature, carefully swallowed a few leaves, while Kitty Sparks stuck her whole head in the bag and began rolling in a bed of sweet green. While Buddha began to kick back, ready to ride the kitty dragon, Kitty Sparks felt it hit like a freight train. She bursted from the cupboard, sprinting for the lobby, ready to lead Kim on the wildest cat wrangling of all time. Sambo, meanwhile, was horridly staring at Buddha, as it appeared Buddha began to grow more limbs and start singing "Tip Toe Through the Tulips." 

 Kitty Sparks, like an artillery shell, screamed into the lobby and instantly began a path of destruction. She hopped onto the shelves, making sure to throw everything down on the way, and candy, dog treats, and other items went flying! With a burst of speed she bolted for the top of the water cooler, making sure to bring a rawhide with her. Using as much force as possible, she rocked to water cooler, toppling it over, and whipped out her rawhide and rode the tsunami of Culligan water to the reception desk! At this point, Kim was dashing around the counter to stop this little Calico fiend. In a bold attempt, the speed at which would have caught the NFL's attention, Kim went to snatch up the little delinquent. However, Kitty Sparks knew what was coming, and like Usain Bolt ran around the corner for the filing shelves! 

Shimmying her way to the top, she balanced just so they would tip, and she ran across the shelves just before they toppled, leaving a cascade of files in her wake. In a swan dive, she pounced from the shelves onto the reception desk, rebounding off the computer, momentarily distracting her would be captor. With this, she dashed across the desk, raining more files, pens, fake flowers, and dog treats upon the floor! Olive, meanwhile, was screaming her protests, but did take a moment when some treats happened to fall her way. 

Diving from the counter, Kitty Sparks headed for the room from where she had come, shooting past a comatose Buddha and a frightened Sambo, who was seeing a herd of Kitty Sparks' and small mice riding with little chaps and cowboy hats, firing small six shooters back at Kim, who at this point was in hot pursuit. 

Kitty Sparks, upon entering the Pharmacy, zipped up into the medicine shelves, and Usain Bolted down them, throwing medications to the floor to slow Kim's pursuit! After wrecking any sort of order that had been, she rounded the corner, zipping for the food room. She met the door just as it opened, and there stood none other than Dr. Zirbel. Kitty Sparks panicked, and started to rub Dr. Z's legs in an attempt to reconcile the complete and total destruction she had just caused. Picking her up, Dr. Z began to ask her how she had gotten free, when Kim began to explain the shenanigans that had just occurred. With concern, Dr. Z told Kitty Sparks how she could have hurt herself by all that jumping with her brittle bones. Coming down from her high, Kitty Sparks began to feel slightly ashamed, but knew there was nothing cuteness couldn't fix. So purring, she began to rub her head on Dr. Z, and was returned to the safety of the cat room.

I was enlisted that day to help fix the mess, I called FEMA but they refused to assist in feline related disasters. Anyway, Buddha, fell asleep in that cupboard. Sambo, meanwhile, spent the rest of the day curled next to Buddha, convinced that the cotton balls nearby were Buddha's minions, and were plotting to punish Sambo for using Buddha's catnip. 

Therefore Ladies and Gentlemen, sit down and talk to your felines about the danger of chasing the kitty dragon. Because, as the Humane Society says, if you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?

Kim Campbell said:

It's cute Dr. Z! Eddie and Mr. Peepers thought so too!

2016-08-17 22:50:17

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